NEGOTIATE OR FIGHT?

Peer pressure has always been a timeless topic for everyone. Most of us have experienced the haunting notion of "Con nhà người ta". The intangible concepts of an ideal model have inadvertently created unprecedented pressures on each of us. No matter who you are, where you come from, or what age you are, you cannot escape the comparisons that exist in your daily life.

Have you ever wondered what we strive for? For ourselves, for our families, for society, or for the stereotypes that were never meant for ourselves? Have you ever looked at someone else's success and felt insecure, confident, or even underestimated yourself? Have you ever felt insignificant in the face of great achievements you see through flashy headlines or inspiring videos of talented individuals out there: "Nữ sinh 2k5 trúng tuyển Đại học Thanh Hoa", "Nam sinh lớp 10 vô địch thế giới môn Toán", "Nam kỹ sư thu nhập 9 con số không trong 1 tháng". The staggering numbers, the admirable achievements, somewhat make us doubt our own capabilities. However, behind those numbers, behind those achievements, are the countless sweat, efforts, and tears of the individuals who are still silently striving every day. What makes us pressured every day is simply WHAT WE SEE, WHAT WE HEAR, just the "TIP OF THE ICEBERG".

"Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another." - Marquis de Condorcet

A sharing article I really like from Vietcetera about peer pressure wrote:

"Everyone has their own time. Today you may be amazed by the success of Kylie Jenner at 22, but don't forget there are those who “shine” at the age of 88 like Harland Sanders of the KFC brand. Striving to overcome pressure is good, but it doesn't mean you should let it linger in your mind and forget to enjoy life. Always remember to live true to yourself and your core values. You may feel guilty or ashamed when you start to forget them, but believe me, you were born a miracle and everyone has the greatest value."

So, should we compromise or fight against peer pressure?

There won't be a perfect answer. For me, we should find a balance between "compromising" and "fighting". Compromise to learn and fight to continue to improve ourselves every day. There won't be a specific framework or guideline suitable for everyone to solve the problem of peer pressure. However, here are some pieces of advice you can draw for yourself (excerpt from Vietcetera):

• You don't need to change just to fit in with the group you're playing with. Use your uniqueness to develop relationships. Contacting people in different situations will give you different perspectives on life.
• Don't worry too much about negative comments, just keep trying and believe in your abilities.
• Plan ahead if you know you will be in a situation where you can predict peer pressure and make sure you have a strategy to withdraw if they become overwhelming to handle.
• Ensure that you find people who support your values; let go of relationships that negatively influence you and make you feel like you have to change your core values.
• Be decisive, attentive, and get to know positive people who appreciate you, your ideas, your lifestyle, and your choices.
• In addition to supporters, you will have to deal with times when you have to interact with people who don't like you and always put you down. When you are in this situation, remind yourself of what your values are and how you will stick to your plan.

Peer pressure is something we all face at some point in our lives. It's how we navigate through it that defines our character and shapes our journey. So, remember to stay true to yourself, keep striving, and never let the pressures of others dictate your path. View peer pressure as a challenge, one that everyone must go through, instead of avoiding it, choose to face it and update yourself every day. 

Mai Quyên